God: Hello this is the religion help line, what is your disbelief?
Sinner: I seem to have lost my faith.
God: Was your faith installed by an ordained priest or a catholic Minister?
Sinner: Ummm... lets see , I have a conformation, so it must have been
a priest.
God: And have you been doing your Faith updates with Weekly
Services(c)?
Sinner: Well, no, not all of them, but I did get the big upgrade at
Christmas and Easter, and a few ot her Weekly Services here and there.
God: Have you recently heard any contrary Data that might have corrupted
your faith?
Sinner: Not that I can think of..
God: Please remember that corrupting data can come in many forms, from
S imple Lies (c)*(Microsoft) or Street Retoric
(Internet). Have your Ears downloaded anything that might be construed
as corrupting?
Sinner: Well I did listen to a bum on the street that said that God
was asleep and that anyone who believes was be ing lulled into the fires
of hell.
God: What you have is a paradox, that is the problem with your faith,
you see, somehow you have an INI string installed that does not let you
Believe in God, but the output of this string is a
Goto Hell. Without God there is no hell, thus the paradox.
Sinner: And how do I get this Paradox out of my system?
God: Please re-read the book that came with your faith, The Bible(TM)
and The Book of Mormon (TM) and recall the passages that deal with hea
ven and hell, and look to the passages about Judas.ini (c). you can also
find some help in the Psalms 100-120, but those are long and confusing
and should only be used with a complete lack of Faith.
Sinner: And what can I do so that my Faith ne ver becomes corrupted
again?
God: Well there are several products out there just for that purpose,Lotus
Devout(TM), Microsoft Seminary Plus(TM), and Netscape Hereafter Browser(TM).
If you use these products and not download data from known corr upting
sources, you should be fine.
Sinner: Well thank you very much God, This should help out a lot, I
should be believing in you without a doubt in no time.
God: Go in Peace(TM) my son.
Annaleise
http://russianbear.pornspace.org/